Joy and sorrow are the light and shade of life; without light and shade no picture is clear.
- Hazrat Inayat Khan
I am not sure why I am writing this blog. After too many drinks and cigarettes today, i thought writing can help me to understand life better. I am not sure if it will work or not.
I don't drink regularly but sometimes. I have quit drinking many times (it is very easy to quit) and each time i find an excuse to start again: "Oh! this one time only", "I want to give company to my friends", "Only with cigarettes, Brah!". But truth is i don't have willpower to stop and drinking also helps to avoid real life problems. It takes you to a certain (happy) place in your mind where there is no problem. Sometimes I take leave from work just to smoke and drink (today was one of the those days). The next question I ask myself how did I come to this state: Is it because I was sexually abused as a child? Is it because I saw my mother committing adultery with multiple men? or is it because i had to take care of our business at the age when most children play with toys and stuff or there is some other reason which I don't know yet. I hope, by the time I finish this blog I will get all the answers I need. Actually I "want" the answers but people say that You Can't Always Get What You Want so I am afraid I can only hope!
- Hazrat Inayat Khan
I am not sure why I am writing this blog. After too many drinks and cigarettes today, i thought writing can help me to understand life better. I am not sure if it will work or not.
I don't drink regularly but sometimes. I have quit drinking many times (it is very easy to quit) and each time i find an excuse to start again: "Oh! this one time only", "I want to give company to my friends", "Only with cigarettes, Brah!". But truth is i don't have willpower to stop and drinking also helps to avoid real life problems. It takes you to a certain (happy) place in your mind where there is no problem. Sometimes I take leave from work just to smoke and drink (today was one of the those days). The next question I ask myself how did I come to this state: Is it because I was sexually abused as a child? Is it because I saw my mother committing adultery with multiple men? or is it because i had to take care of our business at the age when most children play with toys and stuff or there is some other reason which I don't know yet. I hope, by the time I finish this blog I will get all the answers I need. Actually I "want" the answers but people say that You Can't Always Get What You Want so I am afraid I can only hope!
